These last four weeks

by Leila


I don’t even know if I can express the last four weeks of my life. The change of direction and place, has been quite phenomenal and I want to touch on that; yet first let me say, “these last four weeks I’ve had the blessing of being with each of my kids and their loved ones (sans Claire) and what a gift that is. Not the sans Claire part.. Everyone in this immediate family knows Claire, you can’t not know her grace, beauty and lighthearted spirit. What a gift she is to this family and our son Michael, there could be not better mate for him and we are so thankful for her commitment to him, her own family and work (the only reasons we’ve missed her these last four weeks.)

The gift, my goodness our children. At the depths of my heart I am two things, a wife and a mom. Then these kids of mine they went and added Nona, who could ever imagine the great gift in that.

We made a life change four weeks back, a big one, a somewhat secret one. Not purposefully secret but the year before I had shared so much, too much. Then life, it fell apart and it fell hard, it all changed and got redirected. How do you share that stuff via social media? Some do and I respect and honor that, for me, I don’t, it’s simply too big. So this time, we kinda hid.

Truth is, we moved, a really big move this time. We moved a business, a home, we left our beloved friends and family and we made a huge life change. Crazy thing is, we are thankful, we are happy, we are smiling and we pinch ourselves daily realizing we really are here. If there was one word that could describe where we are as a person or couple, it’d be humbled. We are in a place, climate, home that we dreamt about, that we know we do not deserve in any way shape or form. The simple truth is Bill and I have been scheming, planning, trying to figure how to relocate from Central Oregon for years, to here specifically (the desert) for the last 2 years and by golly we did it and we are thankful, it was time.

Back to those kids and the last four weeks. All of our life we have been floored at the children that God blessed us with. Their gifts, talents, goodness, spirit and thoughtfulness are beyond measure. We have had each of them (again sans our treasured Claire) in our presence over the last four week period I am blown away, thankful and humbled that they are ours’.

From the honor to say, “you are moving I/we want to come and help”, believe me being in your 50’s this gift is a tremendous help that is inconceivable (there is no joy in unloading a 26′ foot truck on 105* weather) to dinners around a table simply getting to know one another and their new love better, to putting furniture together, to Lego organization that knows no end, to enjoying my new joy (our Zoo) in the 110* weather, to watching an adult child run his business and love on his family simultaneously, to the adoring smile of a baby grand daughter who seems to find joy in everything, to the fascination of a grandson finding his confidence in Nona and Poppa’s pool, to playing ‘farm animals’ at least 40 times, to snuggles with a new born grandson who’s seeing this world a bit clearer each day, to a son in law who flies in late at night to catch a mere three hours with us to share catch up and enjoy the company of one another, to a son who balances his genius and helping solve our work i.t. issues and follow the lead of a ‘boss’, to a young mommy who magically balances baking tarts for a wedding feast and nursing a wee one, to a daughter who is gifted beyond measure and shares her heart that knows no end to compassion and truth, to a daughter that has new dreams and hopes and is forging a path that is her own, to an italian dinner enjoyed because we simply love great food and wine, to a heart that is filled beyond measure of a woman that is a wife and a mom first but is trying to find her place, her purpose on this planet as life moves forward. Then in the middle of all of this there was the blast of driving up to SF for 24 hours and going to my first SF Giants game at the new stadium and having the funnest evening ever with the baby bro and his gal, good grief what fun!!

I guess I’m just thankful and I want to share that. I’ve (we’ve) definitively chosen to move on because we know our kids (grown as they are) lives are not ours to live. At the same time, it may not be apparent about us but the truth is our family is our everything. It’s what God has gifted us with and we are so thankful and blessed by who these (once were our own wee children) people who are turning out to be. Time with them is precious, so precious. I wish I could describe it here in words, it’s so much in my heart, again I am thankful. I love my children and I am incredibly grateful that in the last four weeks I got to see, know and touch, almost, each of them face to face. They are a priceless gift. I love you hwml and those that are yours’, thank your for the time you’ve given to your mom and your dad Bill. In all honestly we are so very thankful for it. You are my glory, my crown, my foundation and honor.  The time we’ve had with each of you is truly treasured, not taken for granted and we see each of you as a unique and special gift. And we miss our grandchildren more than words can even express, what incredible little souls each of them are.

I know you all think your grandkids are the cutest, sorry to burst your bubble but truth is mine are even cuter.

So back to that new life.. yes, we’ve a new home, a new place, are learning to make new friends and are enjoying this blessing. Of course y’all are welcome to visit us here, we promise to share all we have and are with you. Truth is, it’s not a bad place at all, we were pretty dang picky in our choosing of where life should be lived next.

As for me, I need to finally get unpacked, organized and settled. I need to feed this dreamer’s (Bill’s) needs and find the balance of peace, purpose, truth, beauty and meaning in this new place. A challenge to achieve, an adventure behold and a great man to love. Good Lord I am so beyond blessed, truthfully and sincerely I get that.